its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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