He felt like a one man threesome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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