No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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