WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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