Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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