i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
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i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The adults are the big ones right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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