i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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