WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
