he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
