some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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