Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize