this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
