best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial