Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?

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(518): Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs? http://tfl.nu/bc57

Replies (21) Good night (670) Bad night (2121)
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(301): View more from Maryland

you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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(301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n

Replies (19) Good night (7318) Bad night (802)
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(513): View more from Ohio

god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"

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(513): god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is" http://tfl.nu/c0jq

Replies (36) Good night (1431) Bad night (4373)
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(319): View more from Iowa

he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.

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(319): he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me. http://tfl.nu/lhdj

Replies (53) Good night (1138) Bad night (4562)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.

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(985): At least my shower head will respect me in the morning. http://tfl.nu/vri5

Replies (32) Good night (4928) Bad night (1239)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.

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(678): I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom. http://tfl.nu/95nr

Replies (18) Good night (2251) Bad night (4187)
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(708): View more from Illinois

did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"

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(708): did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement" http://tfl.nu/nqth

Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (1289)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?

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(479): Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up? http://tfl.nu/43gp

Replies (4) Good night (1783) Bad night (964)
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(949): View more from California

Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

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(949): Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you. http://tfl.nu/q3ie

Replies (29) Good night (5436) Bad night (1193)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter

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(919): my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/13z8

Replies (2) Good night (911) Bad night (465)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.

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(780): Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters. http://tfl.nu/28t2

Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (467)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?

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(804): I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day? http://tfl.nu/ul99

Replies (2) Good night (1303) Bad night (378)
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(540): View more from Virginia

The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship

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(540): The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship http://tfl.nu/4d11

Replies (1) Good night (649) Bad night (346)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,

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(+44): I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking, http://tfl.nu/4img

Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (356)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.

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(847): Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art. http://tfl.nu/abxt

Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (209)

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