Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station

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  (813): That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station http://tfl.nu/mj5u
  Replies (10) Good night (957) Bad night (3408)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

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  (814): If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know. http://tfl.nu/ag02
  Replies (7) Good night (2214) Bad night (1628)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free

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  (734): It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free http://tfl.nu/3j31
  Replies (8) Good night (4448) Bad night (1500)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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  (915): Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me. http://tfl.nu/qov1
  Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (2509)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment

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  (256): Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment http://tfl.nu/eim1
  Replies (20) Good night (2866) Bad night (1238)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more duck duck goose at the bar

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  (484): no more duck duck goose at the bar http://tfl.nu/05y7
  Replies (6) Good night (2353) Bad night (849)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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  (636): Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me. http://tfl.nu/3e5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1583) Bad night (735)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.

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  (717): The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot. http://tfl.nu/h8z2
  Replies (6) Good night (2791) Bad night (1140)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...

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  (928): Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out... http://tfl.nu/6hjg
  Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (689)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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  (336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs
  Replies (10) Good night (2609) Bad night (512)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.

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  (715): I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night. http://tfl.nu/5yhi
  Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (1354)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men

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  (503): At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men http://tfl.nu/ey0x
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (274)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.

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  (570): I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now. http://tfl.nu/p9px
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (518)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.

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  (413): Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him. http://tfl.nu/18mb
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (223)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.

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  (269): I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night. http://tfl.nu/kddg
  Replies (3) Good night (600) Bad night (179)

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