Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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(732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi

Replies (15) Good night (1456) Bad night (4927)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back

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(732): she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back http://tfl.nu/8662

Replies (14) Good night (4929) Bad night (1137)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(267): So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from. http://tfl.nu/6xgn

Replies (14) Good night (3677) Bad night (1118)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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(862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn

Replies (23) Good night (1222) Bad night (5409)
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(239): View more from Florida

Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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(239): Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls? http://tfl.nu/pmwm

Replies (11) Good night (5021) Bad night (861)
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(925): View more from California

Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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(925): Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed http://tfl.nu/cgjz

Replies (8) Good night (3814) Bad night (741)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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(828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp

Replies (29) Good night (7112) Bad night (1000)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.

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(401): Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself. http://tfl.nu/agcx

Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (794)
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(206): View more from Washington

Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.

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(206): Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up. http://tfl.nu/qld8

Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (915)
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(903): View more from Texas

Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me

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(903): Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me http://tfl.nu/adub

Replies (6) Good night (4059) Bad night (849)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer

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(508): He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer http://tfl.nu/btvn

Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (2606)
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(360): View more from Washington

Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.

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(360): Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people. http://tfl.nu/w1ks

Replies (33) Good night (2980) Bad night (896)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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(515): I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life? http://tfl.nu/j85t

Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (882)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.

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(267): I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses. http://tfl.nu/97k7

Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (334)
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(315): View more from New York

we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back

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(315): we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back http://tfl.nu/uot7

Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (763)

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