the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him