forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
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We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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