Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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