oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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