Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
