There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
