It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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