i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
operation harelip BJ is a go
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
