there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
