Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
