you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Randomize
