i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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