Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
