saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
