Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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