I think im going to throw up on grandma
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
