i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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