even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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