Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
