you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
