I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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