I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
