Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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