I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
