I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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