I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
