my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do vagina's smell?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
