So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
