im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
