She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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