do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
