but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
