he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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