The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
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You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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