i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
