Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize