He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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