i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have tasted many bathrooms
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