I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
