that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
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they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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