I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize