best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
