watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
