Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
