Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize