I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
