Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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