Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
